i love movies so much i love the power of film and how they affect me and everyone and different genres and their beauty and different opinions and different cinematography techniques and colour palettes and good acting and interesting story and relatable characters and well written characters and good characterization and drama and good writing and tight direction and oh my god i’m so emotional i love film so much
FUCK do you ever think about the exact way that TJ tried to commit suicide? Like not making a mess for anyone, something that could easily be covered up as a mistake or blamed on himself for being drunk and passing out while trying to drive or something? Like FUCK how much do you wanna bet that TJ's self-worth was so non-existent that he figured that his death would be a relief for everyone, including himself? DO YOU EVER CRY??
But also, yes. I think about it every time I think about PA (which has been a rather large amount lately.) Because I’d expected him to relapse and OD at that point? That would’ve been within the addict behavioral pattern and it’s been my experience when dealing with addicts — but no.
No, he doesn’t OD and no, he doesn’t slit his wrists and no, he doesn’t try and take a gun or whatever. No. No, he goes quietly, discreetly, because he’s still a Hammond and despite everything, despite the pain and the heartbreak and the self-loathing, there is one lesson that has been drilled into TJ’s skull from day one — do not make a scene. Don’t be a nuisance. Don’t get caught. We don’t care what you do so long as we can pretend you’re not doing it.
TJ doesn’t relapse because it wasn’t his sobriety that Reeves’ broke. It was his spirit, his will to go on. But quietly. Discreetly. Like he was always taught.